choices

Sometimes, in life, you have to make choices. And sometimes, those choices suck ass.

I’m sorry, but it’s true. Some choices are easy, some are difficult, some happen without you meaning to, and some of them make you sit in the corner and bawl your eyes out.

Fortunately, todays choice wasn’t one of those, but it still wasn’t pretty. I’ve made split-second decisions before, like deciding yes, I do deserve those high heeled bright red peep toes, so I’m going to spend that money on them even though it’ll mean I can’t do other things with that money. I’ve made difficult decisions, like what I did during my gap year last year, or where I’m going to uni this year. I’ve made decisions that have made me want to cry. I’ve made decisions that have made me cry. Today I made a decision that was really difficult. I would have loved both choices, I would have enjoyed both outcomes. But while I would have loved to have been able to have done everything, I didn’t think that I could have done everything well.  And there’s the difference.

And so, I chose to give something up, to disappoint someone, to forgo an experience, to miss out. But I also chose something, I chose to keep someone happy, to do something else that I’ll enjoy. And while I hope I won’t have to make too many more of those decisions in my lifetime, I know I will; and I can only hope that I’ll be able to be reasonable, sensible, rational, and yes, emotional about them. I can only pray for guidance and pray again that I’ve made the right decisions. I can only live with the consequences.

And may your decisions always be guided by head, heart and God. Happy Friday.

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